Article
summary
When it
comes to the path of Dhamma, the marriage and the relationship between a
husband & wife is something we should understand deeply. Rejecting and
insulting the spouse disrespectfully or speaking against the marriage is not
something letting go of an attachment, or the path of Nibbana. So, let’s
discuss what we misunderstood and what we are missing in this subject of
marriage through this editorial.
In deep
Buddhist teachings the subject of marriage is neither encourage or
discourage. From Samma Sambuddha to most of the other Noble
disciples have gone through the marriage life in their lay life and it shows
how they have used the marital affairs to develop the greatest qualities which
required for the path of nirvana.
In this
relationship one learns to respect another human being, develop trust and being
trustworthy to another. Also being grateful and satisfied and content
with what already received. Patience, forgiveness, friendship and many
more. Many can’t think about the marriage life without considering the
Sexual relationship. That’s why many beliefs and it has become a “Not so
nice topic” to discuss with the Buddhist Teachings. But, in this case
many misunderstand that marriage is not just about sex or producing kids.
This is where many misunderstand the marriage and ruined their relationship
even which leads to divorce and many chaos.
If you
are already married and interested in the deep Buddhist teachings, then you
should observe deeply about your relationship with your spouse. Look
deeply how you support each other, how much respect you both are giving to each
other, how to develop a true friendship within, how to trust and be truthful to
each other, try to develop a relationship which is beyond just a sexual
relationship.
In the
life of Gautama Samma Sambuddha, the blessed one has proven this respectful
attitude towards to the wife of noble one’s lay life. We all know her as Princess Yashodhara whom later also
become a great Arhath Theri. After becoming a Samma Sambuddha, the
blessed one visited the palace where Princess Yashodhara refuse to meet the
blessed one at publicly. She demanded to meet the blessed one at her
place. But Samma Sambuddha never insulted or being disrespectful towards
her. Instead, the blessed one visited her and let her, shower her pain,
and showed how she deserved that for the given support.
Even
after becoming an Arhat, Ven. Yashodhara Theri visited Samma Sambuddha and
express the long-term relationship they had throughout Samsara and how they
supported each other to end the samsaric journey. And being grateful and
at the same time asked forgiveness if there is any false happened throughout
this journey. And then took permission to end the Samsara by completing
the Nibbana, where no birth happens again. That’s also shows the quality
of a real woman who understood her role perfectly.
If you
observe the journeys of many noble ones, including all the Samma SamBuddhas,
the relationship of their spouses has been magnificent. They used their
marriage lives to develop such noble qualities and make it useful to the path
of Nibbana.
So, one
should understand insulting and disrespecting another being is surely not the
path of nibbana. So, if you are married already, use it for the benefits
of each other as well as to the other beings. Develop the greatest
needful qualities like noble friendship, trust, respect, gratefulness,
gratitude, admiration etc. Make it beyond physical and that will
guide you to the deep teachings of Buddhism which ends the Samsaric Journey.
P.S
:
You
should know that this is not an encouragement to the ones who are still not
married. This is to understand how to use the martial affairs to the
benefit of developing the path of nibbana if you are already married.
Because I have noticed many believes it is as a burden to the path of
nibbana. Also, I have noticed how, many believe that insulting and being
disrespectful towards the spouse is a way of showing how they have not attached
to the marriage. So, understand the depth of the subject. Deep
Buddhist Teachings explain everything subjected to our existence. We
should not ignore the certain topics or ignore discussing them in a supportive
way by being afraid of the topic, as it may encourage the existence.
Rejecting and disrespectfully letting go of anything creates another bond,
another attachment which is based on the hatred, Ill-will or harmful
intentions. Such methods of letting go is also can be described as the
“Vibhava Tanhā” “craving for non-existence”. So, Buddhist teaching is
about understanding and ending all types of craving and for that we need to
observe deeply into all the possible topics which are related to our
lives. So, my dear Dhamma friends be Wise! Observe Wise!
Instead of making each topic as an encouragement to the existence, make them and use them as an encouragement to END this existence! If you are married, then develop the noble qualities through it and end this journey of Samsara. If you are NOT married, try to understand how a new relationship & attachments can possibly become a reason to make you delay to end this journey of Samsara. So, at the end of the topic as you see this is not about how to get married and make the journey little bit longer with happily married life. This is all about how to be content and develop the skills to end the journey of Samsara! Have a blessed time, dear all! Also, you can read about being a true lover to your spouse through this editorial!
To read More
Articles visit; Official "Nirvana Dhamma" Website!
