Most of our relationships have conditions. Whether it is parents to children, husband to wives, between siblings, between friends, no matter what the relationship is, it always have conditions.
One should fulfill something to prove how they love or care for other one… one should at least do something according to the other one’s wish to get the love they deserve… So in this way relationships have rules. And rules are misinterpreted. Relationships have conditions and boundaries and, yes! Expectations! Actually if we think deeply the relationships kill love.
You can’t go by what others expect. They may do a lot to you because they can or they have the time. Same with your end too. But that doesn’t mean they or you have right to demand or expect things back towards them or from them. If it is happen that doesn’t love. Those are just relationships with conditions. That sound like “ok, I’ll do anything for you but you have to be like this… or do like that…” etc… This is more sounds like a deal than the love.
As a child this was the first thing comes to my mind over relationship. From childhood I have to go through the conditions applies tag from almost everyone around me… you have to wear like this, eat like this, behave like this, learn like this, achieve this & that…etc… etc… it sound like if I succeeded to fulfill their demands then only I deserved to be loved. They were not ready to accept me for who I am and still the most of them have this conditions applies* tag with them. I was wandering… I was curious… how it can be… how love can be conditional… why this is sounds like a business… full of demands, sacrifices, promises…etc., etc...
With the time every single incidents proves me how correctly I have identified the meaning of relationships. That makes me to think about the real love which is unconditional… that makes me to identify how the relationship kills the love through with the tag of conditions applies*
You may be cannot meet so often, you forget birthdays and other greetings, you sometime may not in touch for years… Even if each other doesn’t have their back during their hard times of trouble, the love & care towards each other shouldn’t be lack. If one complains “But where were you during my times of trouble?” that’s a hint of conditional love… one should be able to accept the fact that, other one was also busy with dealing his / her own up & downs and never bother other people to be a part of it just because they love or care for each other.
If you can start off from where you left with each other without any awkwardness or without any complaints… that’s shows you have grown up… that’s shows you have the unconditional love towards that relationship… that’s shows that you simply don’t have any conditions over that relationship…
This decision sometimes you may find that you feel bit lonely… Because you have to deal with your own problem and issues without troubling anyone at all. But if you are a one who fond of loneliness and accept it as a gift then you are a winner.
At the end eventually this makes you a winner. A person with courage to face any kind of problem and solve them successfully. A person who is happy and content with what he / she already have. A person with an unlimited level of patience. A good listener. A person who doesn’t complains about everything of their lives. An independent person who doesn’t fear of losing anything or anyone in their life. Etc... etc… the list goes on… So turning yourself in to an unconditional lover brings loads of benefits to your end. Most important than everything is the freedom and the peace of mind you gain through this love.
The best kinds of relationships are the ones without conditions. No conditions applies. Love should be free of conditions or it isn’t love at all. That kind of love you can achieve for the relationships through the wisdom. And then you can fulfill the responsibilities towards relationships more efficiently too. That’s the love described in Pure Deep Buddhism too. That’s the deep meaning of compassion described in Buddhism too. You don't have to be a Buddhist to be like this... when you be like this that will make you a real Buddhist, and you don't even have to say it to yourself or anyone else. Again nothing to prove!
If you still don’t have this kind of love with you, which means you are still lack of wisdom. So work on it… coz it’s not a hard thing to do… Expectations and applying conditions and having relationships with lack of love are more & more harder than that…! So, Good luck and have a blessed time!
